You are not making your relationship a priority….that’s the problem.

How many times in the past week have you thought to yourself…..he and I are not connected? We have nothing in common. We are drifting apart.

Sound familiar? It probably does, as this is one of the most common problems couples face. You call it drifting apart, I call it not making your relationship a priority. It used to be a priority, but for whatever reason, you both let it slip away.

Kids got in the way. Busy schedules. Crazy jobs, whatever the reason, your relationship went from 1 to 11 and that is a problem. It may seem like “not a big deal” to you right now. You might say to yourself, “oh, well, life is crazy right now. We’ll reconnect soon.” I promise you that if you don’t fix this now. It will only get worse.

This is one of 7 Common Relationship Problems that I see every day in my therapy practice and I am featuring in my new YouTube Web Series “7 Recipes to Fix your 7 Problems.”

If you want to keep your love life alive, you must continue to nurture it, develop it, and tend to it. Making it a priority again is not hard to do, you just have to decide to make it happen. It’s in the little things, showing appreciation, saying thank you, checking in with one another, listening, spending time with each other, showing interest in their day.

Might sound small, but trust me, these little things matter. You need to make my ziti.

Here is my cooking therapy recipe for getting you both back to Number 1.

Bonding Over Baked Ziti Video

    Bonding Over Baked Ziti


  • 1 box of ziti noodles, your choice of brand
  • 4 cups of marinara sauce (jarred or homemade) divided
  • 1 container (15 oz) ricotta cheese
  • 3 cups of shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 1 pound ground turkey
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped or 2 Tbsps. dried parsley flakes
  • 2 eggs, lightly beaten
  • 2 tsp dried oregano leaves
  • 1/4 tsp ground black pepper
  • ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • Instructions:

  • Cooking Step 1: Heat oven to 375°F. Prepare pasta according to package directions; drain. Brown turkey meat over medium heat until cooked, sauté onions and garlic in meat. Drain any excess fat.
  • Cooking Therapy Step 1: During this step of cooking the noodles and the meat, you both need to check in with each other emotionally. This means you must ask the other person 3 questions, and LISTEN to each answer.
  • Ask:
    1. How are you doing?
    2. How are you feeling?
    3. How do you think we are doing?

  • Once you’ve practiced doing this, you’ll need to make this a part of your daily routine. When you are making dinner together every night, check in with each other. Repeat. Every. Single. Day.
  • Cooking Step 2: In a separate large bowl, you’ll assemble the dish. Stir together hot pasta, cooked onions, garlic, and meat, 2 cups marinara sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, parsley, eggs, oregano, and salt and pepper (if desired) In 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking dish, spoon pasta mixture; top with remaining sauce. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese; cover with foil.
  • Cooking Therapy Step 2: During this part of the recipe you’ll say YES to each other. Talk about what couples activities you can do together that you’ve always wanted to do but never have. Whatever it is, say yes! Just do it already. Antiquing? Paintball? Gun Range? Schedule it. It’ll bring you closer and show your partner that they are in fact a priority to you.
  • Cooking Step 3: Bake 30 minutes then remove foil and bake for another 10 minutes until bubbly
  • Cooking Therapy Step 3: While baking, sit down at the table together and come up with what your couple’s ritual will be. This means, an event or action you will do together every single week. This is a smaller gesture than in step 2. This is more along the lines of sitting on the front porch having a glass of wine, drinking coffee before the kids get up, or going for an evening walk together. This is scheduled time just for the 2 of you every week that you know ahead of time you are going spend together. Repeat every single week.
  • By following this recipe you will conquer this super common problem of not making your relationship a priority. Let me know how this works out for you!

    Happy Cooking!