Listen. No one wants to be married to their mother. No one wants to hear that they need to do the dishes, clean up after themselves, and take the kids to soccer practice.
But the truth is, these things need to get done. These mundane tasks of life are not going away. The best way to tackle them is to just do them. Equally. Divide up who does what and when it needs to be done. This is the fairest way to handle “division of labor.”
And your partner shouldn’t have to remind you to do it. You should just do it.
But, one out of every four couples I see will tell me that their partner expects them to do all the housework on top of job/work/kids/school etc. They assume it’s their job.
I’m here to tell you that, those assumptions are not the correct way to interact with your partner and it shows them zero respect that you just assume and expect them to do EVERYTHING. What if they assumed you were to do everything? Would nothing get done?
Stop fighting about this and get a handle on it now. That’s the only way to solve this. This might not sound like a big deal, but trust me. It is. If this is not dealt with now, it will lead to resentment and the end of your relationship. This IS a big deal.
Learn to divide up your daily mundane household tasks by first making my bagels. This recipe is the perfect way to practice this skill. Once you have perfected the ability to ask for help and ask your partner to assist in the recipe, you’ll be able to have the conversation about what needs to get done.
Sit down together and write out ALL of the tasks that need to get done. Make two lists, one for everyday tasks (laundry, kitchen clean up, household cleaning) and then make a separate list for all the tasks that are bigger one-time events (cleaning out the garage, doing taxes, painting bedroom.)
And then EVENLY decide who will do which job and decide which jobs you will do together.
Since you made my bagels, dividing up this will be simple. Practice makes perfect 
Happy Cooking!

Better Together Bagels


  • 1 ¼ cups water
  • 4 ½ cups flour
  • 3 tablespoons white sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 tablespoon instant yeast
  • 4-6 quarts water for boiling
  • Optional Toppings: Salt, cinnamon, raisins, garlic slices, poppy seeds, sesame seeds
  • Process:

  • Decide who is going to be Person 1 and Person 2
  • Person 1: Combine 1 1/4 cup water, flour, sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, vegetable oil, and yeast in the mixing bowl of a stand mixer. Mix on low speed using the dough hook until well-developed, about 8 minutes.
  • Person 2: Transfer the dough to a lightly oiled bowl, cover it with plastic wrap and a kitchen towel, and let rise for 2 hours.
  • While you are waiting use this opportunity to write down all the chores and daily activities that need to get done in your household. Talk about who is currently doing each and decide how you can split up those chores more evenly. Ask questions like; does it make sense for this person to ALWAYS do this job? What jobs can I help take over?
  • Person 2: Preheat oven to 475 degrees F. And punch the dough down, place it on a lightly floured work surface, and use a knife or dough scraper to divide the dough into 6 pieces (or more, for smaller bagels).
  • Person 1: Roll each piece of dough into a sausage shape about 6 inches long. Join the ends to form a circle.
  • Person 2: Repeat with the remaining dough, and let the bagels rest for 15 minutes.
  • Person 1: Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange small plates with toppings and bring next to baking sheet
  • Person 2: Bring 4 quarts water to a boil in a large pot. Boil the bagels, until they rise to the surface of the pot, about 1 minute per side. Remove the bagels with a slotted spoon and place them on the parchment-lined baking sheet.
  • Person 1 and Person 2 Together: Dip the tops of the wet bagels into the toppings and arrange them, seeds up, on the baking sheet. Sprinkle with coarse salt, if desired. Bake in the preheated oven until the bagels begin to brown, 15 to 20 minutes.